Aren’t you gonna fix your hair? 

I can’t be seen walking around with you until you relax hair, said a boy I liked in high school
I just stood there as he walked away shouting “FIX IT!”
His words echoed in my head. 
And I was just like “Screw you!”
The next day I gathered strength to confront him
Me : if you think I’m beautiful why can’t you accept me with my “kaffir hare” huh?   
Him : Akona you are beautiful, but your hair looks dirty. You see other girls relax their hair, why can’t you do the same?
Me : “ Then you can go and date the other girls”
And that was it, he went to the girls with relaxed straight long hair 
A few years back I was preparing to go to a job interview and before I left the house my grandmother said aren’t you going to fix your hair? I had very short coily hair, and I asked her why does she think I have to fix my hair
She said “ your hair looks untidy fix it”
And I asked “ HOW?”
Grandmother “ relax it or wear a wig”
At that point I was not mad or anything coz I’ve heard it all before, thousands of times before and I just wasn’t bothered.
 So three months ago, a male friend of mine asked me to accompany him to an event, so while discussing the logistics, and guess what?
He said “do you need money to go fix your hair?”
And I said “no I’m fine like this” 
Him “why don’t you go buy Brazilian or Peruvian hair I’ll give you the money to fix your hair so you can look beautiful?”
No I didn’t think douchebag or anything okay maybe I did, but I was not going to be mad at him for saying that.
Instead I gave him a lesson  
I looked at him smiling and said buddy my hair doesn’t need to be fixed, your view of beauty is the one that’s broken it’s the one that needs to be fixed. You see” I AM EMBRACING MY AFROCENTRIC BEAUTY! SO STOP DEFINIING BLACK WOMEN’S BEAUTY BY EUROPEAN STANDARDS”. 
Like I said I ain’t mad no more, I’m just sick of explaining myself! But trust me I’m cool.


4 thoughts on “Aren’t you gonna fix your hair? 

  1. I can totally relate with you. I have been told time and again to comb my hair, to straighten my hair, to make it look nicer and cleaner. I don’t even respond anymore, i just smile and move on. Your hair is beyond beautiful i tell you and you inspire me so much. You are beautiful too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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